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  • K. Shaun

Dear Future Me... Balance?

Dear Future Me,


Duality. That's a term I'm trying to wrap my head around. Masculine. Feminine. Strong. Weak. Surprisingly, this is a common debate. A conversation that is ongoing, yet I’m still searching for an answer.


What if I don't fit in a box? What if I’ve never known what a space looks like to embrace thinking, I have help? What if I'm just so used to doing it all that I don't know what accepting help looks like? What if...


I've been trying to make my healing an all-inclusive journey. Although I know it's mine. I've been writing and erasing. Praying and meditating. Thoughts flood my brain with the same questions. However, the answers aren't always the same. How can that be?


Today I may require something completely different than I did yesterday. Maybe something different than a couple of hours ago. I get that!


I've been trying to rediscover and rebuild me through heartbreak and triumph. Thinking that the two are supposed to go hand in hand. Thinking that if I show vulnerability, I'll be weak. Thinking that if I show my cracks, I lose the foundation I worked so hard to build.


Women are powerful forces. We handle it all. Never breaking a sweat or complaining. Because we can do it... all. But does that mean we have to?


I used to think asking for help was more of a reflection that I failed at something. I have worked so hard at checking and double checking that when something isn’t part of the plan… I’m thrown off. No! It isn’t pride. Ego. Or me just being hardheaded. I just want to get it right! The first time. For me!


So why should my drive to make sure I’m doing it right be viewed as too strong to be a feminine woman. This toxic cycle of life has a lot of people defining things based off of what? Their own ego. Their own insecurities.


I don't exude masculinity or femininity. I exude being a human. I'm strong when I have to be. I'm vulnerable when I need to be.


Future Me. Future Us. Future We... Know that the right environment will allow you the space to operate at your optimal self. Never be afraid or feel like you have to fit in any box.


Love,

A Balanced Me


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